Claiming Whisper Page 2

  I gave him a smile to say thank you and pointed over my shoulder. "I think Bell’s done for the day. I told him I'd come find you so we could order dinner. Are you hungry?"

  "Always."

  "Then come on, let me feed you." He had the cutest expression when I said I'd feed him. My Daddy Dom side hadn't come out in a long time, and I enjoyed being around the cute boy.

  I stepped to the side to let the boy pass me and resisted the urge to touch him—to see what his reaction would be. We entered the living room, and Bell was scrolling on his phone. Whisper fell on the couch beside him—his head resting on the other man's shoulder. From what I could hear of their quiet conversation, they were deciding on where to order from. I pulled out my wallet and handed him my card to order the food.

  "I'm going to run out for some drinks and a few things to get me through until I go grocery shopping tomorrow. What do y'all want?"

  "Whisper can go with you. I'm going to order a bit of an assortment for us."

  "If he doesn't mind helping me out."

  "Absolutely not." He moaned as he got up off the couch, Bell's hand on his ass, helping him stand.

  I nearly said something before I reminded myself it wasn't my place. I knew they were best friends and obviously close, and who knew if they'd hooked up before becoming friends. My thoughts irritated me but didn't keep me from having them. I opened the door and let him go first. A bit of time alone with Whisper wouldn't hurt my feelings.

  I didn't think twice about opening the passenger door for him and waited for him to get in. Before he could reach for his seatbelt, I grabbed it first and pulled it across his chest.

  "You don't have to do that."

  "But you want me to."

  "How do you know that?"

  "I saw your reaction when I ordered you two not to fight and when I called you baby boy, you didn't hide it very well."

  "Is that bad?" He drew his bottom lip between his teeth and nibbled on it. I didn't like his nervousness; I shouldn't make him uncomfortable.

  "Not to me. Do you think it's bad?" I asked him as I made sure he was safe and secure in his seat, but I didn't move away. I smiled as I felt a soft brush of his fingers on my stomach.

  "No, but maybe I should."

  "Why is that?"

  "I don't know."

  "Then why don't you think about it, and when you decide, you can tell me how you feel then."

  "Okay."

  I brushed a kiss to his forehead, and as I pulled away, he had his eyes closed, a small smile curving his lips. I closed the door and walked around to the driver's side. As I got in and started the engine, I asked where the closest place to shop was. It had been years since I'd been there. I needed to take a drive to find everything. He gave me directions as I pulled out onto the main road.

  "You didn't check out the area before you moved?"

  "A lot changes in a few years, places open and close. I fell in love with that house when I lived here. It was newly built and the trees and shrubbery, and the stone fence hadn't been put in, so I could see it whenever I drove past it. Every year I checked listings, hoping maybe it would go on the market, and one day I was in London, couldn't sleep and decided to check, and there it was."

  "Meant to be."

  "Maybe, I'd started to get more restless."

  "There's always a sign, some of us just ignore it longer than others."

  He pointed at the light where I needed to turn into the shopping center. I found a parking spot close to one of the entrances.

  "Be still. I'll come around to get you."

  "Yes, sir."

  A few minutes later, we were walking the aisle of the grocery section. I was asking the usual get to know each other questions, food, color, favorite movie, and we went back and forth like that while I picked up sodas, beer, wine, also juice, coffee and everything I'd need to get through at least breakfast and a massive list.

  "I should've thought more about shopping. I swear my fridge only ever had condiments and takeout containers."

  "The joys of being single, and the age where whatever we want is no further than a phone app."

  "I think they'd revolt if I did a grocery order with everything I need."

  "Yeah, probably best to wait until when you just need a regular order."

  He stepped in front of me when we got in line and started emptying the cart. Watching him was quickly becoming a habit. He was beautiful. His head barely reached my chin, and him being a Little was a complete bonus. First, I needed to figure out what made the slightly odd boy uncomfortable. From what I learned, he didn't seem the type. Whatever it was, it would be fine, and I needed to convince him of that.

  3

  Whisper

  I tapped my bluetooth earpiece as my phone rang, and I checked to see who was calling. I smiled at seeing Mommie Dearest with a picture of my mom. "Hey, Mom, how's Tokyo?" I continued to stir the chicken soup I was making to portion out for dinners in my meal prep. Sundays were my day to cook, make a bunch of quick things to freeze, and all I’d have to do was thaw and heat. Cooking made me happy, but the cooking for one not so much.

  "Fine, you know as much as I love your father, he needs to retire. My beautiful curvy ass is going flat from all the plane rides around the damn world."

  I chuckled at her usual complaint.

  "But you know Dad only stays with you for that."

  "I know, I'll have to start doing"—she gagged—"squats."

  "The horror."

  "I know, but you know, you find a man that married you just for a fat, luscious body, and then you lose a pound, and the sex life goes to hell."

  "Sunflower, please." When I used her name, she knew she needed to knock it down a notch.

  "Honey, we should be used to this, and what have we talked about? Sexuality is natural, and if we speak about it in open and honest terms, we can normalize it and render it less taboo. Also, sex-positivity and honesty lower the risk of pregnancy. Also lessens the numbers of suicides among our LGBT+ youth when gender is treated as an abstract construct that exists on a spectrum."

  "Yes, Dr. Sunflower. How did my strait-laced drill sergeant of a father hook the hippie sex therapist?"

  With her as my mom, I should’ve done better with my coming to terms and acceptance with being transgender, but I had such a hard time never staying in one place. Always on the outside on the bases and in the new communities, knowing I wouldn't be there long enough to bond with anyone. Fitting in became a horrible habit, and my sweet, peace-and-love mother had fought depression for several months over the fact that I'd feared my parents' reactions, especially hers.

  "Well, he looked really hot in his uniform and so strict, I just knew he'd know how to handle all size twenty-two of me and handle it well. I had to have him. I made it my mission that he'd be in my bed, and I never let him leave."

  I rolled my eyes, a move I saw a thousand times from my dad over the years. He would just shake his head, give her ass a squeeze, and walk away. I should have some childhood trauma to work through, I really should.

  "How are you, though?"

  "I'm good, Mom, I promise. I went with Bell to help his step-grandfather move over the weekend."

  "When are you going to think about dating? I don't care about the sex part, but people are not meant to be solitary creatures. Touch starvation can cause a lot of mental, emotional, and physical issues."

  "I've been thinking about it." That's all I'd thought about since I'd met Anderson. He had my Little in overdrive, and I wouldn't mind some big boy time with the hot Daddy, too.

  "People who love and care for us don't care what genitals we have. We've discussed this in detail when you came out. Gender is a spectrum but also in the natural order of things, a fallacy."

  "I love my body. I've gone through all the body acceptance exercises. It just feels like it's going to be awkward the first serious relationship." I threw in the thick noodles and gave it a stir, then turned to lean back against the counter. I'd gone th
rough the whole train-wreck of emotions from soul-destroying doubt to the freedom of acceptance.

  "I know, and you're well within your bodily autonomy to wait for the right one. When you meet the one you trust, just go with your gut. No person is worth questioning your body. We've talked about this your entire life. Body and sex-positivity is paramount to self-care."

  "You're preaching to the converted or, in this case, the indoctrinated. I had no choice about it."

  "If that was the case, you wouldn't have waited until thirty to begin living your authentic life."

  "I apologized for that, Mom."

  "I don't want you to say you're sorry. You robbed yourself of true happiness until then, and I'm so proud of you for finding your way and more importantly should be proud of yourself. As your mother, I just want you to be happy, and it hurts me, you waited so long for that. You shouldn't delay anymore."

  "And I'm not. I didn't like dating before, and I'm no more in love with it now."

  "You did hate it, and you're one of those monogamous people."

  "Monogamy isn't a dirty word. Also, you've been in a monogamous relationship for thirty-two years."

  "As long as two people are open and honest with each other—"

  "I don't want to know about my parents and their possible open relationship."

  "Fine. I can't believe I raised a prude."

  I laughed because I could clearly see her pout in my head. It's the same one she used whenever she wanted something from Dad, and he was helpless to tell her no.

  "I did meet someone. He's handsome, and he's making my Little go crazy. His voice is just right to issue commands."

  "Why didn't you tell me this when you first answered? I want details."

  "There's no details to give. He gave me his number, but every time I go to call, I freeze." I'd stared at my phone for fifteen minutes with my thumb over the call button several times. I hated when the rational part of my brain decided to take center-stage and make a list of everything that could go wrong. I'd stutter. I'd say something stupid. I'd make a complete fool of myself. My brain didn't have a strong filter, which tells me I shouldn't say something.

  "Call him. If he gave it to you, that means he wants to talk. I also know you're not the most peopling person, so the phone call would be perfect."

  "I know."

  "You keep saying you know. Get off the phone with me. It's four AM here, your father is getting up soon, and I want time with him before I send him off to work."

  "What are you doing up so early?"

  "One of my couples needed help, and we scheduled a video appointment."

  "Go spend quality time with Dad and call me later in the week. I can never get the time difference right."

  We said our goodbyes and I disconnected the call, turning off the soup to let it cool before putting it in containers. I took my soda and went to the living room to curl up on the couch. I scratched my bare chest with the small patch of hair in the center and looked down at fading scars. The hair under my navel had thickened and darkened disappearing into my sweats, and under those, I had a thick bush, and my clit was bigger.

  The changes were subtle at first, but then I'd noticed the facial and body hair changed, the pattern more masculine. Every new difference had excited me. I was still slender, but muscles were more defined, and I had a small belly. There was only so much hormones could do. I'd thought about having children one day, so delayed my hysterectomy until I made a definite choice, and still, that wasn’t a guarantee.

  I turned my phone over in my hands and decided to take Mom's advice. I searched for his contact and connected the call before I changed my mind. The ringing sounded in my ear and I set the phone away so I couldn't hit the end call as my nervousness grew.

  "Hey, boy. I was wondering if you'd call."

  His voice was deep, with just enough husky notes to make it perfect. I could get obsessed with him talking to me. I bet he'd be amazing reading me a bedtime story.

  "I debated it all day."

  "Why is that?"

  "I don't know. You make me nervous."

  "I don't like that."

  "I'm sorry."

  "You don't apologize for how you're feeling. I was surprised by you."

  "Why?"

  "I didn't expect Bell to show up with a beautiful boy I couldn't stop looking at."

  I felt my face heat, and I couldn't help smiling. I was glad he couldn't see it. Something I'd never been able to do is take a compliment.

  "I'm not beautiful."

  "You very much are, boy, and I'll tell you until you believe it."

  "What are we doing?" I wanted to hear him say it. I needed the words. I didn't want to assume his intentions. I wasn't someone who liked dating, but I also wasn't a hookup type. I'd had four, maybe five men I'd dated over the years. I'd loved sex, I missed it, but I was also looking for someone who'd accept my Little. Most of the time, I thought I was setting my expectations too high, but I'd ignored my needs, and I didn't want to do that anymore.

  "What we're doing is…I'm going to ask you to come to my place for dinner Friday night. I'll pick you up. Bring you here, and we'll see if we like each other. If we do, maybe your Little can come out to play for Daddy."

  I groaned and tried to break it off, hoping he didn't hear it, but my luck had never been that good.

  "I see you like that idea. Say yes."

  I wanted to answer right away, but I held back—keeping my expectations in check needed to be maintained. One dinner, a single night couldn’t hurt, and I wanted it. "Yes."

  "Good, I want you to be comfortable with me. And the only way that can happen is if we spend time together. I noticed I made you nervous, and I need to earn your trust. Then maybe you'll tell me why, but until then, I want to see you."

  "I'd like that. I haven't dated in a long time and, well, my Little has also been solo. I have play days where I give him time."

  "No one has been your Daddy before?"

  "No."

  "I haven't had a Little in years. I hope you'll be mine some time in the future when you're ready. How about I pick you up at seven on Friday?"

  "That's good, I get off work at five."

  "Then it's a date. Do you have something to do right now? I'd enjoy talking with you more."

  "No, I just finished talking to my mom and meal-prepped for the week. I'm just waiting for stuff to cool to put it in containers. Sundays are always my days to do all the cooking. Sometimes it's just not worth making meals for one every night."

  "That's why I always end up with takeout."

  I settled into the thick cushions of my couch as we talked. It was more like twenty questions. I continued the call because I just wanted to listen to him talk. I didn't care about what.

  Time passed, but I didn't check the clock or worry about it. I had a date with him, and for the first time, I wasn't dreading the small talk, and I was looking forward to spending an evening with a man who thought I was a beautiful boy.

  4

  Anderson

  I'd thought moving back would be something I'd grow to question, but meeting Whisper made it easy to accept the I'd made the right decision. The other night when he'd called, I truly hadn't realized how much I'd held my breath. I was much older than him and it still amazed me the beautiful man seemed interested. It could be age or loneliness hitting me hard as I assumed I'd be settled down. A person of my own, maybe a family. Yet a secret part of me had remained pessimistic.

  My attraction to a person had never been about gender or conventionality. I'd dated people of all shapes, sizes and shades in my life. I loved the differences—imperfections—the little things that made a person unique. What I hadn't anticipated was how hard my attraction for Whisper would hit. I'd thought about it several times after the day I met him and the days that followed until he called.

  I wasn't one to believe in love at first sight, lust, yes, but this need felt like so much more than that. The assumption that I'd have to deny the Dadd
y Dominant side of myself tempered my excitement to find my person. Whisper could be my person, my lover, and my Little.

  During our first call we'd kept it light, random things and idle chitchat. A lot of the details you'd learn on a first date. I sensed my boy found talking to me on the phone easier than in person. I didn't care how I made him comfortable just that he'd allow me to earn his trust.

  When I'd realized what kind of person I wanted, someone who I could love, pamper and correct I'd felt discomfited by that. For a long time I'd thought something was wrong in how I viewed the relationship I'd ultimately want. In some ways it was almost mirrored coming to the realization that I was bisexual. Spending a lot of time breaking down each nuance of my needs and wants, analyzing and then setting them aside for a life more conventional—the status quo.

  Ignoring my instincts made me act in way contradictory to what in my heart felt natural. That ended in several failed relationships and one divorce, and a long stretch of abstinence. After my marriage ended I'd sworn to myself that I would live the way I wanted. Even with the one Little I had in the past, that hadn't been a dating or sexual arrangement for me. It's just fed my Daddy and stripped me of a layer of unease. I'd treated my Little right, she was sweet Little Girl who'd had a Daddy before and helped me to learn how it should be when I found my one. We still kept in contact and I loved how she'd blossomed with the right Daddy.

  I wanted to do that for Whisper. I also needed to claim. Would I be enough though? My romantic history wasn't the best and I knew that stemmed more from my lack of time or interest in turning a few dates into something more. It wasn't that way with him. I could see spending my life with him. Although, I tried to tell myself to slow down. We hadn't had a first date yet.

  I let out a frustrated sigh and finished up with work, staying late hadn't accomplished any of the tasks I needed to complete. I threw everything in my work satchel and shut down for the night as I debated what I wanted to order for dinner. Another night of takeout didn't appeal to me, but I'd need to shop to have something to cook for mine and Whisper's date.